It’s a fact of life that at some point during our amazing journey, we will experience loss. No matter how big or small a loss is and how prepared or unprepared for it we are, it can have a serious effect on our happiness, perspectives and beliefs. Perhaps you lost a beloved pet, a friend or family member, or are put through a difficult breakup. These are all losses. Sometimes a loss can completely floor you. You may find yourself questioning who you are and what your purpose is on this planet. You may feel lost yourself. You may feel that you will never recover. As someone who has had her own fair share of grief, I am here to tell you that it does get better. Eventually, things will be okay again – different, yes – but okay. So whether you have experienced a loss already and need some support, or have been lucky enough to avoid one thus far, here are some words that I hope can help you.

The ‘Right’ Way

This is the most important thing to understand: there is no right way to grieve. When something horrific happens to you, you will naturally react differently to those around you. Maybe you will go into shock, maybe you will break down, or maybe you will remain relatively composed. However you personally respond is okay. Don’t think that emotional outbursts are weak or a lack of emotion is cold. Every one of us is different, so it is natural to handle things in our own unique way. If you are one of those people who needs to keep busy and ‘get on with it’, then do that. Stay busy, occupy yourself with your hobbies and interests. If you are one of those people who needs time to process everything, then take that time. Be on your own until you feel ready to face the world again. However you need to deal with the situation is up to you.

Time

Even though she’s now a pop princess in the midst of a media scandal, the old Taylor Swift certainly had some good advice. In one of her early hits, Fifteen, she offers a piece of wisdom that can help us here: “I’ve found time can heal most anything / And you might just find who you’re supposed to be.” When you’re hurting, chances are the old ‘time heals’ notion won’t feel very helpful. But it’s important to believe that, as awful as things might seem now, they will get better. They may not go back to normal – because a loss can seriously alter our perception, redefining what ‘normal’ actually is – but they will improve. When something huge happens to you, it’s likely you will never truly get over it. But you will, eventually, get used to it. It won’t be an obstacle in life you simply surpass, but rather something that becomes a part of you and your story. And when the time comes, you will feel joy again. You will feel happiness again. You will feel hope.

Wellbeing

Another significant thing to remember when suffering a loss is to keep looking after yourself. Taking care of your mind and body may seem like the least important thing right now, but it cannot be ignored. You will only worsen things if you stop taking care of yourself. Make sure you eat, and eat well. Stay hydrated. Get at least eight hours sleep a night. If you feel up to it, do yoga or meditation once a day – it will help your healing process. Go outside and get some fresh air. Being in nature is a great way to give yourself time to think, and to see the beauty of the world around you. Spend time with your friends and family – as much as you need. Lean on your friends. Real friends will always be there for you, no matter what. Give yourself time out at work if you need it. Place value on your wellbeing. Even though things are horrible right now, you will come out the other side stronger and more understanding of yourself.