It is unarguable that each and every one of us is different, in our appearances, our beliefs, our interests and our mannerisms. The one thing we all have in common, however, is our status as a human being. When you strip away labels and signifiers, we are all, at our core, human. Stemming from this simple fact, life coach and motivational speaker Tony Robbins has established six basic human needs which affect us all. These six needs are fundamental to our role as human beings, and it is Robbin’s belief that we are all motivated – whether consciously or unconsciously – by our longing to fulfil them. I found these really powerful, because they can be related to all aspects of our lives, from family and work to extracurricular activities and relationships. Realising that these six needs are important to your mental wellbeing and overall happiness is the first step in allowing yourself to live a more satisfactory life. Now you can pinpoint what, if anything, needs working on in your life, and pave the way for a happier, more in-control you. 

1. Certainty

The first need that Robbins describes is certainty. As human beings, we desire an amount of security or safety and tend to dislike uncertainty. We want to know that we can avoid both physical and mental pain, and that we can find happiness. To give you an example, think about when you are in a relationship with someone. During the early days of romantic involvement, we can generally handle uncertainty because we are just getting to know one another. We don’t expect things to last yet, and naturally protect ourselves in case it doesn’t work out. However, as things progress, it becomes normal to crave a level of assurance. We want to know that our relationship has a direction, and that we aren’t investing our time and feelings into someone who will only be in the picture for a brief period. Furthermore, we want to know that our future happiness is not in danger. Do you feel certain in your relationship? Why?

2. Uncertainty

Just as we yearn for certainty, we also desire an amount of un certainty in our lives. Think about it – if we literally knew everything that was going to happen our lives wouldn’t be very exciting. So while certainty is a valid need, too much will lead to boredom and dissatisfaction. We need to have unexpected or unplanned events and experiences in our lives to stimulate us. Go on a road trip, read a new book, try a new hobby – pushing yourself to do something that you are uncertain about will likely cause excitement and fun. Robbins also describes uncertainty as variety, pointing out that humans need a balance of certainty and uncertainty in their lives to be content. We need enough variety in our lives to keep things interesting. This is why jobs which are very monotonous and unchangeable can be extremely un-motivating and even depressing – we need a bit of diversity to keep us content at work.

3. Significance

For me, this is a big one. Everyone deserves to feel important, special and loved for the unique person that they are. As Robbins asserts, we all want our lives to be meaningful and have purpose in every aspect – we need to know that we matter. There are many ways that we seek to achieve significance on a general level, from creating a distinct appearance to helping others and gaining qualifications. I think needing to feel significant is really important when it comes to relationships, both familial and romantic. If you are a mother, you want to fill that parental role and be acknowledged for it; you want to be known as ‘mum’ for the care you give to your child. When you are dating someone, you want to feel like you are beautiful and special – you want to feel valued by your partner so you know your relationship has a purpose.

4. Connection

Human beings are social creatures, so without companionship we would naturally become lonely and despondent. Robbins describes the importance of connecting with other people, stating that it is necessary in order for us to feel loved, wanted and cared for. We need to form bonds with others to prevent loneliness and allow us to feel significant. This is why friends, family and romantic partners are so important to being happy. Close relationships such as these allow us to feel like we are part of a community which appreciates and understand us.    

5. Growth

It is natural for human beings to want to learn, grow and progress throughout our lives. More than a ‘want’, however, we need to feel this way – it is vital to the way we view ourselves and the level of contentedness we feel with our lives. Imagine how mundane life would be without goals, achievements or the possibility of development. Everyone desires growth at different levels – some people are truly afraid of change, while others are just unmotivated. Yet the desire to advance is significant, no matter how small or big these advancements may be. For some, growth is determined by career progression or study, while for others it could be learning a new skill or hobby. It could even be as simple as learning to cook a new meal. Whatever the method or meaning, growth gives us something to aspire to and believe in, challenging us to seek accomplishment.

6. Contribution

Robbins’ final human need is simple: we want to make a difference and contribute something of value outside of ourselves. The basic need to improve the world in any way possible and give our energy to the greater good is found in everyone. Generally, it combines growth and connection, adding to our feeling of value and increasing ours sense of belonging or identity. Again, this need means different things to different people – for one person, it could mean putting more energy into a friendly or intimate relationship, while for another it could mean volunteering for a charity or donating money to a not-for-profit organisation. If you don’t think you are contributing enough in your life, now is the time to pick an area you think needs work – you will be amazed at how great it makes you feel.