As a mother, I know what it is like to live with teenagers. Sharing a household with these young adults can be difficult at the best of times, and there are a few pointers I’ve learnt along the way.

So we all know that teenagers, bless them, can be moody. Very moody. There’s the hormones, the everyday frustrations of high school (little do they know) and the turmoil of first love. Being a teenager isn’t easy, but what is easy is forgetting just how tumultuous those years can be. Has your teen ever come home and responded to your “how was your day?” with a simple “good”? When you ask them what they did that day, do they ever say “nothing”? Sometimes after a day of drama, embarrassment or friendship woes, all your teen might want is a little peace and quiet. As much as we want to know the inner workings of their minds, it is important to give these young adults space. Let them cool down, let them relax, let them think things through.

In line with this tip, try not to take things to heart. On occasion, your teen might lash out at you with a nasty comment that really does hurt – but nine times out of ten, this was said in the heat of the moment and in fact meant very little. Your teen’s harsh words are coming from a place of stress or distress, so swallow your pride (or pain) and be as supportive as possible. Of course, there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed and those kinds of situations should be dealt with accordingly.

While giving your teen space is definitely a good idea, make sure you also spend some time with them now and then outside of the house. If you have a daughter, take them out for a coffee or pedicure, or have a day out shopping. If you have a son, take him to the movies or go for a bike ride. Watch your kid’s sports games and musical performances; read their stories and admire their artwork. Whatever they are into, be there – it might embarrass them at the time, but in later years they will look back and appreciate your dedication.

In closing – my best piece of advice? Try to be understanding. Remember, you were young once, too, feeling confused and frustrated just like your teen is now. Sometimes it helps to step back and imagine how you would have reacted as a teenager, and take that into consideration before letting your adult-self respond.