Whatever point in your life you are at right now, you have probably been in at least one relationship. It may have lasted a few months, or it may have lasted a few years. You might be in one right now! Whatever the case, there are a few things you should remember when committing yourself to someone.

Stay You

It’s been said before – don’t lose yourself just because you are romantically involved with someone. Of course, when you spend a certain amount of time with another person some things will naturally change – you might try foods or activities you wouldn’t have before, and that’s one of the best things about relationships. What’s important is to not lose the parts of you that make you…you! If you have strong values or beliefs, don’t compromise them. If you have a routine that keeps you invigorated, maintain it. Your partner was attracted to the person he initially met, so staying as true to yourself as possible is a good thing. Having a strong sense of self is necessary to maintaining a healthy relationship. As tempting as it is (especially in those first few months), you mustn’t become absorbed in the other person so that all of your actions, interests and thoughts mimic each other. Keep your own hobbies – and if he wants to join in, great – but don’t stop doing what you love and being who you are.

Communication

Talking. Thinking. Listening. All very, very important in a relationship. All relationships have issues of some kind – small, big, irregularly – whatever. Two people are never going to agree on absolutely anything, which is normal. But if you don’t ever talk about ‘serious stuff,’ you are likely supressing issues which will only grow from not being discussed. End result? Pent-up anger, tension or resentment and a confrontation much worse than if something had been said initially. My advice: speak up. And if your partner has something to say, listen to him! In an argument it is sometimes easy to get defensive, but if you take the time to listen to your partner, you will find often there is something to what they are saying. Be fair and try to see things from their perspective. Remember also to compromise – if neither of you can come to an agreement, find a middle ground where you are both satisfied. And don’t sweat the small stuff. You don’t need to bring up EVERY little thing that bothers you. If you think something warrants attention though, then do raise the issue.

Have Fun!

Never forget this one. A relationship without fun is a sad one. The whole point in two people coming together is to enjoy each other’s company and enhance your happiness. When the fun goes, you need to ask yourself what you are doing wrong. Your partner should make you laugh out loud, and give you something to look forward to each day. In long-term relationships the number of dates often diminishes after the first year or so. Don’t let this happen! It’s so important to keep things alive and interesting so that you both feel excited and remember why you love being together. Have a date night/day a week, where you go to dinner or do an activity. It doesn’t have to be pricey – you could go on a bushwalk or take a rug and a thermos to your local beach one night – but just getting out and doing something different makes a world of change. Spend time with each other where you are focussing solely on the two of you – instead of another night in watching telly!